I am somewhat of a Journaling Expert. Didjaknow. I have kept a very diligent journal the last four years and it has made the difference between being completely lost, and making the right decisions for myself.

But it wasn’t always this way.

Two days ago I shared my rules to Get The Most out of Your Journal. Today I’d like to share the personal experiences that led me to make these rules. If you’ll allow me to start at the beginning…

From the time I was born my mom kept a journal for me full of important dates and experiences and my general attitude towards such things. This turned out to be the best gift she’s ever given me and something I will most definitely do for my children.

When I turned 8 I got my very first journal. (This is also when my mom stopped keeping one for me.)

I wrote in that first journal sporadically and, let’s face it, the whole thing is completely boring with nothing more than practicing writing my name and a list of who my friends were. (One, I had one friend)

As I got older there were lists of all the boys I liked and stories about how they had talked to me. I honestly can’t even reread this journal because I am too embarrassed for my pathetic 13 year old self.

But then, somewhere in Jr. High something happened that set the tone for my journal for the next 10 to 13 years.

My parents got in a really big fight and they were talking about divorce. During this time I was also pretty mad at my dad about something. I made a big pros and cons list about them getting divorced. After concluding that they should, in my opinion, get divorced, I wrote all about how I thought my dad was terrible and we’d be better off without him.

About a week later everything was fine and all discussion of divorce was over. My dad and I were getting along as we always had and I was riddled with guilt. I felt terrible betraying him in my journal.

That’s when I did myself the biggest disservice to the validity of all my future journals. I went to the book and ripped out the pages containing my treasonous words and vowed that from that point forward I would never write anything bad in my journal ever again. I felt that it wasn’t fair to say things when I was angry that would be written down forever.

Fast forward 12 years or so and I found myself in a really bad situation in my marriage. At the age of 25 I was contemplating divorce and I wasn’t sure what to do. I read through my journals to try to gauge how long things had been going on and how bad it really was.

Nothing.

There wasn’t a single word in there about anything negative. I specifically remember not writing down negative things because I didn’t want our kids to look back and know the shenanigans their father had gotten into. In fact, during things that I remember as being particularly awful, my journal entries were all about how I needed to try harder and how I wasn’t being a good wife. I beat myself up in my journals trying to make myself better.

This was hardly helpful to me during a time that I was counting on some evidence to fuel my critical thinking.

And that’s when I decided to be honest with myself. I realized that lying about how things actually were did not make them better. It just made it so that I couldn’t read back and notice patterns and trends.

That’s when I realized that I had to be honest with my journals and myself. If I couldn’t be honest in my journal, who WAS I honest with?

Since then I have grown so attached to my journal and have filled its pages with both the wonderful and the terrible. It’s an honest documentation of everything I’ve ever thought or felt along with stories about fantastic and awful things I’ve done. It really has been a beautiful tool to help me guide myself in the right direction.

I encourage everyone I talk to who is struggling with something to write it down. Even if they never set their eyes on it again, just the process of writing down honest and true feelings will work magic on their troubles.

**After I die my kids are going to be traumatized by all they learn about their beloved mother. Better burn them before I kick the bucket**

***My Journals, not the kids*** 

 Thunder Cats, HOOOOOOOO!!!

I would see this movie in a second!

I am somewhat of a Journaling Expert. Didjaknow. I have kept a very diligent journal the last four years and it has made the difference between being completely lost, and making the right decisions for myself.

I’d like to share with you some simple rules to help you, too, get the most out of your journal.

1) Always write honestly: Do you hate someone today? Let it all out. Are you madly, head-over-heels in love today? Write it down. Are you conflicted? Concerned? Confused? Using too many ‘C’ words in a row? Put in down in your journal. Write the truth as you see it and don’t leave anything out.

2) Write for yourself: This is a record for you (and maybe your posterity once you are dead) and that is all. Do not write with the thought, “What if so-and-so reads this.” You are the only one you are writing for and it is for your benefit. And you will benefit! If you are thinking about what other people think while you write, you will ultimately not follow rule number 1.

3) Write everything that is important TO YOU: Some people are an ‘Event and Date’ type of journaler. Others are a ‘Feelings and Emotions’ type. Many are both. Whichever you are, write that way. Don’t try to do a style that isn’t comfortable. If you allow yourself to become overwhelmed by your journal you’ll end up not writing anything at all and that completely defeats the purpose.  

4) Do it, no matter what: Sometimes I will go a few days without writing because I feel like there hasn’t been anything to say. Then I make myself pull it out and write in it just because I should (even if that means I’m writing about nothing) and I usually find that I DO have something to say and something memorable to write down. Plus, when I don’t write for a long time it’s harder to get back in the habit.

Which leads me to…

5) Don’t try to catch up: After an extended period away from writing it can be extremely difficult to focus on what to write. So many things have passed by that probably should have been written down. Don’t feel like you need to go back and remember all the important events. It’ll only leave you feeling overwhelmed and thus further keep you away from writing. Just write whatever it is that made you open your journal and move on. I’m not saying you can’t go back and write something down that you want, but never feel like you need to.

6) Get creative: Maybe writing isn’t your thing. That’s fine! Create a video diary or voice record your thoughts. Make a movie montage or scrapbook. Find a creative (or totally boring) way to put your thoughts in a place that you can look back on them.

Because, the way to use a journal to its full potential is to…

7) Reread your journal often: Look back often through what you’ve written and look for patterns. Seeing how you’ve reacted in past situations can help you decide what to do during a current crisis. Rereading your thoughts can even help you to uncover your true feelings for something.

Maybe you keep writing about someone you really hate but when you reread your thoughts about said person you realized that you are actually in love and your inability to fulfill that desire has made you lash out in anger. Just an example.

8) Remember this is only for your benefit: If you don’t love the idea of a journal, don’t do it. I’m not trying to be bossy here. But if you’ve read through all of my tips then I have the feeling this is something you’re interested in. Remember, a journal is for your benefit. If you love it, great! If you don’t, oh well. Either way, go get yourself a notebook of any kind and write something down.

I love my journal so much that after a few days of not writing I will pull it out to write just because I miss it. It has been my best friend and one of my biggest problem solvers. But it wasn’t always to useful. On Thursday I’ll share a few personal experiences that I went through to come up with these journaling tips.

Now go out and get writing and please, share your journaling experiences with me! Do you love your little friend as much as I do? What have you found to be the most effective way to journal? Are you thinking about starting a journal, what keeps you from it? Tell me everything!

For the last few days I have been uber grumpy, a tad bit mean, and generally unbearable to be around. My defense walls have been high and secure and I’m quick to snap at anyone. And these were only the presenting symptoms. On the inside I was a raging beast of impatience and irritability. But I couldn’t figure out why.

Before you go assuming; I still have two weeks to go, so just back off.

I didn’t take time to evaluate what my problem was until Dan finally pulled me aside and said, “Listen bitch, I’m sick of your attitude.” (He may have actually been nice about it, but this is how I remember it.)

That’s when I took a minute to be honest with myself and realize that I had been miserable, irate and impatient for days.

Why?

Because I read the Hunger Games.

No joke.

That damn book was so good I read it in two days. TWO DAYS!! I stayed up until 3:00 in the morning, when I knew I had to go to bed, just so that I could finish it.

But, from the moment I started it, I was unbearable to be with. UNBEARABLE!

You might say that I was jealous.... Suzanne Collins did an extraordinary job writing a griping and compelling novel IN MY GENRE which is receiving praise, movie rights and money. (A lot of money)

Or maybe I felt threatened… If this book is such a huge success, maybe mine won’t be received so well. Our books are very different, and let’s face it, hers is amazing.

Possibly I was angry… What makes it so that she gets success and I haven’t yet (I know the answer but I wasn’t thinking logically at the time) How is it that she gets to be published whereas I have yet to?

These are all true feelings I was having, but none were as great as:

I am afraid of success… Reading this book made me come to terms with something I’ve been hiding away in the corner of my mind for a while. Being enthralled and in love with her book made it so that I had to face the truth.

I have some hard-ass work ahead of me.

I have about three more things I need to do before my book is ready for publication. Once I finish them, the hard work begins. I’ll save you the details about “How to Self-Publish” because that would be its own blog post. The bottom line is, it’s a lot of work.

So, after being unreasonably irritated and then put in my place, I realized I have been putting off these three-ish things for weeks. WEEKS! They are easy things that I’m comfortable doing and I know that when I’m done with them I am going to have to get uncomfortable and put in some hard work.

After typing this all out, I hear myself, and I sound like a wee bit of a weeny. But I can’t be alone. Please tell me that my wonderful readers are just as irrational as I am. Surely at one point you have put off doing something easy to avoid the hard work and then resented someone else for doing said hard work and being successful at it? Right?

Really, this is all Suzanne Collin’s fault if you think about it.

 You are crazy if you don't think this is amazing